I shake my head. I worked a shitty cleaning job for two years to pay for my computer so I had no intentions of sharing it with my little brother.“J...st once? One game?” he persists. I sigh. “No” “You can watch! I won’t break anything I swear.”I hesitate.“I’ll do anything!” My little brother adds to his pleads. I want to reject his offer but my mind goes to a dark place. “Anything?” I ask. He nods. Seeing a chance he repeats his offer. “Anything!” “Promise me you won’t tell mom and dad and you. Easy as falling off a roof. Trust me. I’ve done it a few times.”“Believe in what?” I wondered out loud, gazing up at the ceiling again.“In Magic. In me.”I stood silently staring upwards, thinking about those pink skates. Two years later I made the girls' team. Left winger for the Snow Angels. It was still one of my best memories. All because Santa had brought me skates that we were too poor to afford.“I believe,” I whispered awkwardly.“It has to be more than that, Bonnie. It has to come from. Once again I could hear my known mother on the end of something I don’t want happening. An end to something I’d rather gain instead.“It’s a relatively fair exchange,” she went on. “I’m invested. I can’t have you walking around with that painful boner for such long hours any longer. If this is what needs to be done then I’m on it.”Another pause. I said nothing to what the both of us were thinking, temporarily.“I mean. Not quite that.”“I know what you meant,” I reassured her for once.“Good. See?. ” Ava starts sobbing, tears are running down her cheeks. I’m hugging her, holding her, giving her a kiss on her cheek: “Oh, honey.”“Dad, would you mind? You know, cuddle with me again like I did with mom?” I’m tensing up: “Um… you know how difficult that is for me. We cuddled nude before like you wanted and there was a hiccup. I’m scared I’ll embarrass myself again.” Ava continues sobbing: “That’s so unfair. Just because you’re afraid of embarrassing yourself I’m deprived of affection. I really.
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